Soooooooooo…….This one’s going to be a long one. Buckle your seat-belts, its going to be a bumpy ride.
Tuesday’s appointment was for the most part uneventful. That is, up until the end. To make a long story as short as humanly possible, I was to be admitted. Only my doctor fired me as a patient at almost 26 weeks because I didn’t succumb to his desires and go along with the hospital that was more convenient for him.
Emotionally tough day indeed.
Truth is, I don’t know where to begin this post. So if it is confusing to you, by all means…I’m sorry.
The actual appointment itself wasn’t bad. The only downside was he was getting pulled in many different directions. Not only that, his office just received “newer” ultrasound machines, so he was learning those with a GE rep in his ear, pager going off in another, and trying to discuss my pain and the past week all at the same time. He may have been a bit on edge. Still, no excuse in my opinion for what transpired at the end.
My discomfort & the increase in BH has obviously become alarming to him, so he decided to admit me to the hospital to finish out the rest of my pregnancy. His first comment was he would see me in another week and we’d re-approach the topic then. After asking me to describe my pain again, he then decided to give me a 3-day grace period to allow me to prepare & would see me back in his office on Friday. I was okay with that. After a moment of silence and writing in my chart, he decided to go ahead and admit me and begin the steroid shots. Yay. Out of the room he walks.
Because most of their patients use the hospital he prefers, I quickly reminded the nurse that my orders needed to be sent to the hospital I chose (and had been going to my entire pregnancy) so there was no confusion. She said okay and left the room.
About 2 minutes later, in walks Dr. K and in a really angry and disturbing tone proceeds to say this:
“Listen. If you want to deliver at ABC hospital, then you’ll need to find another doctor. It’s too inconvenient for me to get in and out of and I’m just not having it. I’ll help you find another doctor or even Dr. C (the other doctor who co-manages my pregnancy that apparently he despises). Okay?”
I just gave him a stupid look and said “fine.” He left the room. Never-mind that I’m a couple of days shy of 26 weeks and at an extremely high risk of preterm labor among other things. Ugh. I lost it. The tears were uncontrollable at that point. My blood pressure even shot way up. 180/100 to be exact! Scary. I became extremely hot and sweaty and very flushed.
When I got to the nurse who was preparing paperwork, I told her I was NOT going to XYZ hospital, but that I was adamant on going to ABC instead. She couldn’t understand why I was preferential to this particular one instead of the one that they preferred. I quickly reminded her of my reasons, which included my previous experiences at XYZ and that it wasn’t somewhere I wanted my boys to be at. I have gone to ABC my entire pregnancy, am pre-registered there, and even have been to L&D there many times. Hell, my nutritionist is even there. They’ve known the entire time, so why is it now such a problem I asked her? Her response was “we didn’t think we’d have to admit you.” Not an acceptable answer I told her. You knew I would be admitted at one point or another, so that’s bullshit in my opinion. I told her No, I’m not going. She left the room to get Dr. K and in he marches in with a stern look. I asked him again why he had such an issue with my delivering at ABC. His response? “It’s inconvenient. I have to get in my car, find parking, fight through red tape, and it’s jut not safe.” I told him that had nothing to do with my choices and I felt that his reasoning was not justified. When I said that, he threw in the guilt factor and said that if he couldn’t get to me in time, I risked uterine rupture among other things that would be harmful to mine and my boys’ health. I lost it again. He got quiet and said “I’ll have the nurse get your orders together.” I started getting really nauseous and hot and she came in and tried to console me. Didn’t work. I just sat there thinking while she was writing. Then it dawned me. She never pre-certified me at ABC hospital, even though I’d brought it to her attention several times that I wouldn’t be going to XYZ. Each time, she just wrote it off and said she’d get it done. I got extremely pissed and brought it up. I told her that I thought that was the reason she never did it. So as to hold out hope that I’d be impressionable and change my mind. She kinda looked surprised that I’d said that and went on to still attempt persuading me to change. I didn’t say anything else except that I would be going home first to gather my things (I had them in my vehicle by the way) and to discuss the matter with my husband.
End of discussion.
I left and proceeded on to Dr. C’s office for my 1pm with him. On the drive over, I had conversations with Hubbz, my BFF, a friend who also sees Dr. K, and my Aunt. All of them were pretty much in unison with their feelings about the situation. When I got to Dr. C’s office, of course the nurse instantly noticed my state of being and wanted to know what was wrong. I explained to her the situation and what had transpired. She took my weight, BP, and sent me off to give a lovely pee sample. When I went into the exam room, Dr. C was on the phone. I sat on the table and he turned around. I was still crying. He said that the nurse told him what was going on and he was appalled. He let me know that he had left messages for a couple of colleagues that he felt would take ample care of me and asked me to explain the events. I did. He agreed that Dr. K was way out of line and that this should never had happened. I’d even had these discussions with Dr. C. earlier about where I wanted to deliver, so there’s no way in hell anyone could say that it was new news. The sad thing is, Dr. C has been in practice for 30+ years and trained Dr. K! Lovely. Although it was never directly mentioned to me, maybe that’s one of the issues that Dr. K had with me being seen by Dr. C. I really don’t know.
At the end of it all, I left his office and decided to grab a bite to eat and gather my composure. While doing so, I decided to call Dr. K’s office and stand firm that I would NOT be going to XYZ hospital after all. I said that I needed the referral to another doctor like he mentioned. The nurse put me on hold and came back saying that I could go to ABC hospital. Flabbergasted, I got quiet. I said okay, but I still need the referral. She asked why and I reminded her that Dr. K said he would no longer see me or deliver me if I chose that route. She replied that she didn’t think that’s what he said, because she wasn’t in the room. I told her I understand english rather well and I know what he said, so she put me on hold again, came back and said that he would continue seeing me after all. She then proceeded to say that she didn’t know where to send me because she didn’t have any dealings with “those people.” I laughed and said, no worries, I do. I was beyond pissed! Livid. Angry. Stressed.
Shall I keep going??? Let’s do…..
I called Hubbz and explained the new events to him. I decided to go to L&D at ABC hospital and explain to them the situation and that I wasn’t ready to be admitted. Clearly I’m not in labor at this point and Dr. C felt that admitting me now was a mistake. Upon arrival, I checked in and asked the guard to page the charge nurse. She came out and we went back to discuss the situation. After having me sit in the room that was prepared for me, she called Dr. K! Ha. Apparently, she told him that I was very upset and did not want to be admitted, so he wanted to speak to me.
His first remark was “I understand you’re very upset and unhappy right now.” No shit, you think??? He asked me why. I reminded him of what took place in his office and that it was appalling. I also reminded him that we’d had this discussion early on in my pregnancy and he was fine with my decision. He cut me off and apologized, saying that he’d been under a lot of pressure that day and that he meant if I were uncomfortable with him that he’d find me another physician. I told him with all due respect that I’d been seeing him for almost 2 years now. If I’d been uncomfortable prior to this point, I’d have found a new doctor a long time ago. He kind of chuckled faintly. He said, “fair enough.” He reminded me that he preferred XYZ hospital, but it was clear to him that was an issue for me. What I don’t understand Dr. K is how the hell is it only clear now??? Anyway. He said that he was fine with my choice, there were residents and hospitalists that could stabilize me until he arrived and that they’d take care of me. He said, “no worries, our relationship will be fine” and proceeded to clarify why he was admitting me. It was for pain control. I told him that I’d rather try to control it by other means than to be in the hospital. I don’t do well in confined spaces. Stresses me out. He said that he could put me on narcotics, since I have severe allergies to Tylenol & it’s siblings. I said no thanks, I’ll pass. At that point he said, that he would allow me to go home and would like to see me back on Friday, but to still have my bags packed “just-in-case.” He also made it a point to say that he didn’t feel I should continue seeing Dr. C. at this point, because he would see me weekly or even twice weekly now until I’m admitted… Hmm
I told him I was okay with that, that we never got to discussing my seeing Dr. C. still since this happened and proceeded to end the call.
Nurse came in; I relayed the conversation. She told me to hang in there and walked me out.
Called Hubbz, BFF, other friend, and explained what took place.
Came home, ate, and went straight to bed. I’d had enough for one day. I slept all night and even most of Wednesday.
It was completely out of character for Dr. K to react like that, not to mention putting me through what he did. I’m not sure what to think or even how to feel at this point & I’m dreading my appointment tomorrow. I am not willing to deal with this non-sense again. After all was said and done, we are right back at square one and he’s mysteriously okay with my choices. Rather unsettling if you ask me. Thing is, if his reasoning for not wanting me to deliver at ABC were anything other than a convenience factor, then I might…just might have been willing to discuss it. But, considering the pros and cons of each hospital and my previous bad experiences at XYZ, there was no room for discussion. He and his staff were completely aware of that from the beginning. This isn’t something that just popped up. All that said, I have a very blunt & somewhat stubborn personality. I’m not easily influenced and by no means do I just “go-with-the-flow” like some do. No offense. When my mind is made up and I’ve made a decision, there is rarely anything that can change it. When it comes to the hospital situation, I researched long and hard about the two to decide what was best for me and my boys. So, before any of you go speculating that it’s solely on the “experience” factor, it is not. There are many things considered.
So………here’s the dilemma.
I am utterly uncomfortable at this point. I can’t seem to wrap my head around what took place. More so, I want to give him the benefit of the doubt, but my gut is saying no. It was unacceptable how the situation was handled and I don’t appreciate it. The hard part is I’m too far into this pregnancy to even contemplate change. He placed my TAC. He follows & delivers his patients. Most of the other MFM’s in this city practice in a group. Not a concept I agree with. Dr. C.? Well he doesn’t deliver anymore. He just manages or co-manages up to delivery. Nice.
Do I bring it up & attempt to discuss the events of Tuesday?
Do I let it go & pass it off to a “bad day?” That is, unless he brings the topic up?
I thought I had it figured out. My friends and family all think that I won’t be happy with another doc at this point, which is true. But at the same time, what happened isn’t a minor offense in my opinion.